This Is For Me

So last night I finally decided to give up listening to everyone and just do what I want, try and call Conor. I tried, but he was asleep. Buttt he called me back this morning.

I told him how I thought that he wanted to break up with me from the beginning, and that I was only being short cause I was scared he was going to do it. He said he never intended on breaking up with me, but he thought that's what I wanted.. We were so mixed up. I thought that maybe this would fix things, but I don't know. We said we needed to talk again for longer tonight, since I was on my way into my clinical.

I love him with everything I have and I just hope he feels the same way. I kept telling how much I love him and that he is more important to me than anything else, but he never once said he still loves me. I don't know what's going on. If we broke up because of a misunderstanding, then why is this happening? I don't want to have an air of hope if it's just going to get shot down. I really think that we just need to be completely honest with each other, but I'm scared of what he is going to say.

I think communication and distance are our problems, but when I asked him what he thought about me transferring he seemed like he really hated the idea. I don't understand.

I guess we'll talk about it tonight.