This Is For Me

I am a wreck. We used the ovulation predictor kit but it messed up and I think we missed it for this month. I have been using the HPT's (home pregnancy tests) and am getting something that could be an error. I'm resigning myself to being okay with not getting pregnant this month, but it's proving to be difficult. 

I'm lucky that Brent doesn't think I'm crazy. He understands how hard this is for me. At first I tried to hide how obsessive I was being, because I thought  it would freak him out. Tonight he told me that while it's a little different for him, he's still just as anxious to get pregnant again. He said all my emotions and fears and anxieties are understandable, and to some extent he feels the same way. It was such a relief to hear him say that. I still feel as if I'm being too obsessive, but I also know it just goes with the territory. 

On top of all the trying to get pregnant stuff, it's been hard being positive and not letting Tucker get lost in all this, so tonight we did some things to help remember him around our house. We bought a picture frame that's made for sonogram pictures and it says Our Little Miracle on it. It's perfect. Tucker touched our hearts in ways that would have never been possible if he lived. He's given us so much to thankful for and to remember. He is our little miracle even if we didn't get to keep him. We also bought a little angel lovey. I think we'll keep it in the nursery of our future children just to remember him. 

Anyways, I'm going to go read now. Goodnight.