Junior Year


It's a new school year. A new beginning. Nursing school is officially here and I think I'm going to love it. Along with my 1,200 + dollars in books I also got a lab coat, scrubs, a sphygmomanometer ( a stethoscope) haha, and a BP cuff, as well as a pen light, reflex hammer, and some bandage scissors!! I'm so excited. I can't wait to start clinicals!! I'm just excited in general about school this year. :)


One thing I am not excited about is leaving Conor. I keep thinking over and over again how much this stinks. I love him, it's normal to want to be close to each other.. and yet we are so far apart. I know we are both focusing on school and we are at the places we should be, but it's hard to accept. I can't wait until I graduate and we can be together. I feel like I'm missing part of myself when we are apart. Today he had an audition for a symphony orchestra. It was a pretty big deal and I wasn't there. He ended up just missing making it and my place should have been right next to him, supporting him; yet I wasn't. It stinks. This year is going to be a tough one for me, and I'm sure his will be too... I feel like this year, more than any other before, I will need his encouragement and support to get though it all, but He's not going to be here. At least Soph is here. :)

Well. I don't know when I'll write next.. maybe not for a long time, obviously my track-record isn't very good. ;-)

Natalie




I think maybe this implant in my arm is making me really moody and depressed. I am always crying. I get upset really easily. I'm mad at Conor so much lately. He is probably just really confused as to why I'm acting so weird. I've never been this emotional of a person before.. I don't even know why I'm so upset half the time. I can't stand this. I think I'm going crazy. I don't understand.


Upset again..

But I don't really think I SHOULD be. I get jealous. I'm a very jealous person. I don't know why, but I'm just like this. Whenever we come home he always wants to hang out with friends. We have the same friends, but somehow I'm never invited.. I don't know. He went to lunch today with a friend of ours and she never even told me she was in town? I don't get it. Maybe he's just more likeable than me? I don't know. It's stupid. I hate this. I've spent today all alone and he's been out with Amalia. Awesome. I know that I should be thankful and spend this time doing my homework, but I'm too mad to write a paper.. ugh. I hate this. I just wasn't ready to feel like this. I didn't expect it. I know he loves me, but no one else does.. no one wants to go have lunch with ME. =/ Maybe I'm just being a baby. idk. I'm not happy... yet again.

Kinda upset..

I know that I may be being unreasonable, but I'm mad at Conor! I went with his family to THEIR Thanksgiving last year, but he won't come to my family's this year. It makes me upset. It's not even like they will be in different cities.. He could at least compromise and come to mine for a while, then his or vice versa.. but no. =/ I don't even think my anger is unjustified. This is reasonable.. I went to his, he should come to mine. But maybe he just doesn't see it that way.. which is a problem. Ughhh. Why do holidays have to be such an issue.



I really miss him, and I can't wait for the break so I can see him, but at the same time this has put a bit of a damper on things. I just don't understand. =/ I feel like a jerk and I shouldn't. I don't know. I do tend to get more cranky the longer we're apart.. so maybe I just miss him a lot. IDK. Whatever it is, I'm not happy with it, be it his bad attitude or my missing him.


On the plus side, Jeremy is engaged to Shannon! He asked her last Sunday evening. :) I'm going to have a sister-in-law! :) AND on top of that, Jeremy is going to ask Conor to be one of his groomsmen. :D He told me that he really likes Con and knows that he's going to be around for a while. ;-) Hee hee. Jeremy thinks we're going to get married! Ahhh. We're all growing up!


Okay. Well I'm in a sorta bad mood, so I'm going to read Twilight and then go to sleep.. maybe I'll wake up with a better attitude. -___-


Natalie

HmmHMM




























A LOT has happened since I left wrote anything on here, as usual. I'm not going to go into it, but something FUN has happened today! :] My roomie Hayley decided to FINALLY give me pictures from last christmas... SO I'M UPLOADING THEM! :D

It's the second week of school already.. the first football game is saturday. WHEW! It is already going by so fast! :] That's good though. I'm enjoying my classes so far.. I'm pretty excited about my A&P and my Life-Span classes. They are really interesting. I'm hoping they won't be too terrible hard on tests too. ahah. NOT. But other than that, my two band classes are pretty fun too. I'm pretty terrible in Concert Band, but that was to be expected.. In CBB, I'm not the worst, I'm the one who's SECOND worst. >.< LOL. Well, I've got some studying to do.. =/ I have a ton of reading to do before tomorrow. UGH.

Anddd Hayley is cooking.. so I'm gonna read until Dinner then EAT! :]


Byeeee.

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