This Is For Me

The best things in life are those that come easily. The things you don't have to fight against or work too hard for. In other words, sometimes taking "the easy way out" is really the BEST way, regardless of how hard it is.

I feel like things are going so well for me right now. I'm SO happy, and I'm loving just living my life for the first time in, what feels like, years.

Things are coming more easily for me, and it's happening in every aspect of my life. Sure things are just beginning with Brent and I, and sure, I still have a year left of school.. But I'm actually ENJOYING both school and my new interest in Brent! I like him a lot. We have so much fun together. He is amazing and I really couldn't ask for more.. Clinicals are amazing too! I went to Labor and Delivery yesterday and got to help with three births! Two were vaginal and one was a cesarian. I felt like that was my calling. I loved being with those women at such a challenging and rewarding time in their lives! I sure did pick the right profession to go into. The Lord has blessed me with many strengths that nurses need..


I'm glad I wrote here. It really allows me to clear my head. I have so much to be thankful for in this life, and I know it's all from the Lord.

Natalie

It's been over a month since we talked. I want to know if you think this is a permanent thing or not. I don't have any idea what you're feeling, and I'd really just like to know. I've been okay, and I'm trying to move on, but I just feel like I need some closure if this is going to be over for good. I want to know where you stand.

Natalie

_________________________

I've been doing pretty well too. I think it's better for both of us, especially in the long term if this is permanent. We had a good relationship but I think it's run it's course now. We'll always have the good memories.

C

Well. It hurt. I'm doing good though. It's the final ending point. I'm over it now. It's all wrapped up in that little, two lined email. "It's run it's course now" - and I take solitude in the fact that "it's" is misspelled. I hate grammatical errors. I've been talking a lot to Brent. He knows my whole situation, and he's okay with it, so I am too. We're hanging out tonight and I'm excited. Scary movies always bring people together. Hahah. :) But really, I'm pretty excited. I'll let y'all know if anything important happens! :D

Natalie

I told myself I wasn't going to talk to you, because I know it might just make things worse. I guess maybe you figured out that we weren't going to work out before I did.. I just wish we would have talked about it. I wish you would have said what you needed to before we went back to school for this semester. If you were feeling like that for a while, then you should have told me. I cannot tell you how upsetting that was for me that you just ended it without any real explanation. The only thing you gave me was that "you felt that way for a while". I'm assuming that one everyone's guessing is correct and that you found someone else.. how else could something like this end so quickly on your part without wanting to work it out? I'm not mad. I really am not. The only thing I am angry about is that I bent my morals for you.. because I thought you were the one. I guessed wrong, and now here are the consequences. I guess I am still a little upset about everything, but after four years AND being on the receiving end it's a little hard to get over..

I hope that you're doing well, and that you're family is too. I hope you're happy with whatever you're doing.. I hope that you made the right choice too.

I guess really I'm sending this email to get a little bit of closure. I'm happy, I think. I just want to know the truth. If you tell me you've told me why already, then you are lying to me and yourself. You never really gave me anything.

Natalie.

About Brent.. We've been hanging out off and on, texting a lot.. It's going good. I guess I'm really not ready for a relationship though, and I hope he gets that? I haven't told him or anything, we just aren't that close yet. I really want the companionship of being in a relationship, but there is NO way I'm ready. I want to have some one to hold, but I don't think that's a good idea. Hahah. I'm just having fun for now, and I'm okay with that.

My mid-terms are over.. thank the Lord my grades survived. Christina's didn't. She's super stressed and I'm not sure how she's gonna pull off a 75 test average. =/ I'm just holding on.. I am hoping that I'll get some good grades after SB.

But I've got to get back to laundry and cleaning. No one likes to come back to a dirty house after a vacation! :)

Conor's mom emailed me yesterday, just asking how I was. I basically told her I cannot deal with the ups and downs of waiting on him, so I'm moving on. I'm happy where I am, and if anything is to be initiated, it will have to be from him, because I'm not going to do it.

Anyhooos.. I'm trying to work on some homework, but I'm not getting anywhere really.. UGH. I hate it when this happens. =/ Ohhh myyyyy goshhhhh. Meet the Fockers just started. Now I'm really not gonna get anywhere. :)

Natalie