That day when my parents came wasn't bad at all. We all ignored it. But when I got home the next day, Mom and I had our talk. Everything went really well, all things considered. So since then, Con and I have been really careful and considerate when we are in my house. It was really important to me that we show my parents respect for how they are dealing with this situation, so I keep making Con keep his hands to himself while we are in the house.
So I guess that brings us to tonight. I've been painting my room for the last few days, and it's almost all done. Well, Con hasn't really hung out with me in a while because of it, so he decided to come over while I was painting flowers on the border for the accent wall. Every time I went to sit by him, he was getting really "touchy". I kept trying to be polite about stopping him, and he would get frustrated and pout. It was getting very annoying. Well, when it came time for him to leave, I had decided it would be best for me just to stay inside and not go out to his car. Well, he guilted me into going out, even though I knew he just wanted to have sex in his car. So we went out, and proceeded to do such, when all of a sudden he stops. I freak out and ask him "WHAT?" and he tells me that my house door is OPEN! At this point, he isn't moving off of me, and I shove him off. He "hmphs" like he's MAD AT ME! I can freaking see my house porch light being flashed on and off, while a head is in the top window of the door, and he's mad that I want to put my clothes on as quickly as possible!?!? I'm shaking I'm so scared. I know that my mom is asleep, so that MUST be my Father! Conor, meanwhile, is just mad we stopped having sex, and we're not going to FINISH.
Right now I'm so mad I can hardly breathe. I rush to put all my clothes on and run straight into the house to the bathroom and lock the door. I wait in there for about 30 mins, not doing anything, then rush to my room, where I shut and lock the door again. Now I'm just in here, not sure what's going to happen tomorrow, or how I'm going to look my father in the eyes tomorrow. I can't believe that I felt GUILTY about not wanting to have sex! I'm never ever going to feel guilty about that again. I knew that it wasn't something we should be doing.. it was so disrespectful. I just let myself be guilted into it, and look where it got me.
Of course, Conor sent me a text later saying "I'm sorry, it's all my fault. It will only happen when you REALLY want it to, Natalie. I'm sorry I made you feel bad so you came out to the car." Blah blah blah. He apologizes, but he never learns. But it's just as much my fault as his. I can't believe I was so stupid. I'm really mad at him, I can't even deny it.
This really stinks.