So, I've just realized how much I hate technology...
Through Facebook, and by nothing else, have I just learned that an old boyfriend is engaged.. I don't know what to think, much less feel. When I read that, all the blood ran out of my face. My heart stopped. I don't have any feelings for him anymore, I really don't, but he was always the "perfect guy" I used to compare all other guys to. He was MINE. I was his first girlfriend, he my first real boyfriend... my first true love. My heart is aching, and I have no idea why. I feel so... taken advantage of. Facebook ruined it. It's so impersonal. I wish he would have told me. I wish he would have thought to, even though it's none of my business. I feel hurt. This is so terrible. I KNOW he will be happy with her.. he has been for the last year. Has it really only been two years since we dated? This is just so odd. I feel like crying and then I think that that's no way for me to behave! I really am about to cry.
There are no words for the way I am feeling. My heart is being ripped apart and I don't even know why.
this has been a long couple of weeks. i'm tired. i don't feel good, and i need more sleep. this upcoming week i have a chem test and a math test. that really stinks... they are on the same day too. ugh. the only good thing is that the Twilight movie is coming out on friday too! hahah. this also means that thanksgiving is NEXT week. =] i have a paper due on tuesday too.. ugh. i can't wait until christmas break. i haven't been home in like a month, and i WON'T go home until thanksgiving. i miss conor o'neil.i miss him a lot. well, i'm tired and i'm watching a cool show about body language, so i'm gonna go.
goodnight.