This last month has been so full of ups and downs it's unbelievable. I really can't imagine how I'm even functioning after all the stress I've been under! So. I'm going to make a list of Downs followed by a list of Ups, and maybe in the end it'll help me feel a little more thankful and a little less annoyed. Here goes.
Downs
1. AC breaking at the new house
2. The wall not being finished at the new house
3. Hailstorm from hell, which totaled my paid-off car.
4. STILL WITH THE NAUSEA!
5. Brother and sister in law still not talking to us, nor telling us the sex of the baby - even when they told everyone else
6. My OBGYN telling us BY MAIL that they are switching to a different hospital that does not take our insurance - effectively making us find a new doctor 4 months into this pregnancy
7. My preceptee making a HUGE med error the ONE time I've left the floor while he was doing med pass (2 days before he was finished with orientation!)
8. Brent and I fighting a TON over unpacking the house.
All of these things have happened so fast together that I'm really not sure, like I said, how I'm still emotionally stable. It's HARD dealing with so many things going wrong at the same time.. I didn't even list all the fun little joys of homeownership, like our refrigerator leaking water all night so we woke up with a lake in our kitchen. Those things seem insignificant when I'm talking about things on this much larger scale. I'm at my wits end. Things need to start looking up ASAP. I guess I do have some good things to list though!
Ups
1. I'm in the second trimester now!
2. We are getting much more than I thought we would for totaling my car, so maybe we can buy one outright?
3. I finished cleaning the duplex today, so we are done with renting.
4. We find out the sex of the baby next month!
5. We have a home warranty, so the ad only cost us $60
6. At least I know how to combat the nausea?!
It's not easy. All this is really hard and I'm trying to figure it out by myself. Marriage is hard. Pregnancy is hard. Buying a new house is hard, and so is dealing with the unexpected. I cannot tell you how much all of this happening together is stressing me out. Is stressing my marriage out. I'm exhausted because it all is happening at once, and I didn't realize just how much it was worrying me. I need to take a few steps back and examine how lucky I am. I need to see how much we have accomplished. All of these things that are my downs I have to take in stride. They can all be managed and fixed, it just takes time. Killing myself over doing everything at once will not help me. Or Brent. We need to calmly face them one by one and tackle this as a team. That's the only way it will get done period. And the less stress the better.
So for now, I'll just go try to organize my life and the things making it hard right now. I will cry, and think, and make plans. I will make my goals become realities and turn my Downs into Ups. Or at least I'll try.
Nat
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