It's 0233 and I'm awake. I am not, by any means, a night owl. I have preferred all my life to go to bed early and rise early, rather than staying up and waking late. However, all that has changed since I switched to the Night Shift. =/ BLEGH. So, tonight, the last of my days off, I am forced to stay awake until the sun rises, just so I can sleep the whole next day to be ready for work at 1900. UGH. Can I just inform those of you who have never worked a 12 hour NIGHT shift how awful it is?!?
On my days off I am tired, forced to stay awake during the day to get errands done and spend quality time with the Hubs. I miss sleeping with him every night. I miss sleeping IN THE DARK. I have this awful eye-mask that I'm using to help me sleep during the day and THAT is awful too. I get hungry at 2 am on my days off and don't feel hungry at all during the day. It's hard. Harder than I thought. But I'm finally getting slightly more used to it after a month. The only thing left is to figure out how to work in my workouts... But, I'll get there. All in good time. :)
Brent and I have been married for one month and seventeen days. <3 amazing.="" are="" be="" becoming="" being="" but="" finally="" happy="" how="" i="" it="" just="" know="" m="" meant="" sickening.="" so="" to="" together="" us.="" we="" were="">together
. It's nice to finally have him all to myself. I miss him terribly when I work three or four shifts in a row. He's sleeping when I come home, I'm sleeping all day while he's up, then we are both awake for a few hours before I go to work, then I leave and he goes to bed alone, only to wake up to me jumping into bed with him after my shower. It's not ideal. We miss each other. Some nights he will stay up texting me while I'm at work.. until three or four am. He'll fight sleep because we feel deprived of each other. We make our time count though.. Many nights I leave him, exhausted after a fast and furious romp between dinner and work. :) It's fun. We make the most of it. On the days we both have nothing to do we end up staying in bed until noon, only having left to make a delicious brunch of scrambled eggs, grilled ham and sausage, toast with jam, orange juice, and occasionally wine. We enjoy each other.
I cannot claim to have a monopoly on love, but I can claim my own personal stake in the territory. I never knew how much I was missing in past relationships until I met Brent. When I was younger, the boys I dated never were allowed to have control over me, in fact, I flaunted the fact that I didn't need to check in with them, or their opinions, to make any decisions. Knowing and loving Brent has made me into a better person; I no longer feel the need to be completely independent. I realize that being a partner with him is much more rewarding and satisfying than remaining in sole control of my life. I want his opinion, his goals, and his dreams just as much as I want mine. And they both influence each other. He is the fiercest advocate of my happiness, just as I am of his. We love one another wholly, just as our vows stated. (Not that I think that we have been tested much, as of yet.)
Currently, Brent in asleep in our bed, and I'm in the guest bedroom, with Sophie. Sophie graciously decided to stay with me, even though Brent is her new favorite. Since we have been married Sophie has given up sleeping behind my knees in favor of sleeping between Brent's. It's cute, but in an annoying I-saved-you-from-the-shelter-you-should-love-me-more kind of way. She was mine for years before Brent even came into the picture, but now she's a Daddy's girl. I can only hope Brent and I's future children act more neutral with their affections, for my heart's sake. =/ At least she hasn't pooped on his side of the bed like one of my friend's cats did when she got married! :0
Anyways, it's still only 0306, and I've got to be up for another 3 hours at least, but I'm going to Pinterest instead now. :) I think I've sufficiently blogged for the next few months.. Heh.
G'night!