Hmmmm. So in exactly one week and one day, I will be finished with my first semester of college.. Freaky. It's flown by so fast! I know that this is weird, because I complain about school a lot, but this is even MORE weird that it's almost over!
so, FINALS. ugh.
math: in my math class, i must make an A in order to pass the class. UGH UGH UGH! i'm trying sooo hard. i'll just have to study moreee!
chem: this class is pretty okay. all i need is a C on my final and i'll be in good shape. =] this is very exciting!
new testament: i'm not sure, but i think that i could be fine with a C, but i'm going for an A. just in case...
sociology: i need a really good grade. i want an A. i can GET an A. i just have to make up for that damn 33 i got on my essay. sheesh.
pilates: my exam is tomorrow. hahahahaahha. EXAM! lolll. this class is a peice of cake.
I'M SOOOOOO READY FOR THIS NEXT WEEK TO BE OVER!
baslsa'dgkjadhgn
i love conor o'neil bell with all of my heart. he read twilight for me. He's BETTER than Edward Cullen. =]
okaaayyyy. weeelllll. i gotta finish up an essay for tomorrow! =]
Labels: MORE
So, I've just realized how much I hate technology...
Through Facebook, and by nothing else, have I just learned that an old boyfriend is engaged.. I don't know what to think, much less feel. When I read that, all the blood ran out of my face. My heart stopped. I don't have any feelings for him anymore, I really don't, but he was always the "perfect guy" I used to compare all other guys to. He was MINE. I was his first girlfriend, he my first real boyfriend... my first true love. My heart is aching, and I have no idea why. I feel so... taken advantage of. Facebook ruined it. It's so impersonal. I wish he would have told me. I wish he would have thought to, even though it's none of my business. I feel hurt. This is so terrible. I KNOW he will be happy with her.. he has been for the last year. Has it really only been two years since we dated? This is just so odd. I feel like crying and then I think that that's no way for me to behave! I really am about to cry.
There are no words for the way I am feeling. My heart is being ripped apart and I don't even know why.
this has been a long couple of weeks. i'm tired. i don't feel good, and i need more sleep. this upcoming week i have a chem test and a math test. that really stinks... they are on the same day too. ugh. the only good thing is that the Twilight movie is coming out on friday too! hahah. this also means that thanksgiving is NEXT week. =] i have a paper due on tuesday too.. ugh. i can't wait until christmas break. i haven't been home in like a month, and i WON'T go home until thanksgiving. i miss conor o'neil.i miss him a lot. well, i'm tired and i'm watching a cool show about body language, so i'm gonna go.
goodnight.
so, its been like a week or so since i last wrote anything in here.. there's been a lot that has happened!
school stuff was hectic.. my new testament group stunk, so we crammed in everything the night before it was due. at the actual presentation on tuesday i had to speak on 2 extra topics i didn't know i was speaking about.. i had no note cards for those sections. ugh! i guess our paper was good though. i mean, after we took out whole parts from other people.. ahhaha. if i have time i'll show you an excerpt. hahahah. poor colby. he can't write at all! i'm no better though, i don't even like using capitalization.. i tried to do it, but i'm way to lazy for that crap. bah. mmm. what else? math was actually interesting last week, and i feel like i understood quite a bit! yayy me! huzzah!
weeellll then i went home for the long weekend. i left after my new testament class. sooo i got home around 3ish? yeah, that seems right. i did laundry and hung out with my parents that night. then on friday i finished my laundry and went shopping for things. that night i went to bethany's volleyball game. they won! =] my little sis is a good captain! haha. i brought my little cousin to that. theeenn i ate with my famfam. conor and i hung out for a long time after that. on saturday con and i had lunch together to celebrate 2 YEARS. =] it was nice. then we went back to my house and watched The Island.. not the Leonardo DeCaprio one..thank goodness. the good one. hahaha. after that Con had marching UIL. so he left. Later his mom and dad picked me up and e went and watched them! he conducted well, i thought. a lot better than when i saw him in September! i was proud. =] then we went out to eat with them later. it was cute. we then went to my house and the fun part happened...
SO we were sitting in his car, and he looked at me and said, "i have two gifts for you, natalie". i asked him why and he said it was for our 2 year anniversary. sooo, he looked me in the eyes and said," the first is a promise to you. that i will always love, and one day, i will make you my wife." at that point, i was already starting to tear up! i just told him, "okay conor, thats all i need.. i don't care about the other part" but then he said, "but the second part goes along with the first", and pulls out this little burgundy box! i was done for, the tears started rolling down my cheeks! inside was a little ring with three diamonds. and he said, "this is symbol of that promise, natalie, and i want you to wear it for me" i mushed up and hugged him. thennn, what still makes me tear up thinking about it, he looked at me to see if it was okay, then pulled the ring my dad gave to me off my left ring finger and replaced it with his. how amazing is he? i just bawled the whole time! hahaha. i love that boy.
the next day i showed my mom and told her it was a promise ring.. she cried too. hahaha. like mother, like daughter. so, needless to say, leaving him behind this weekend was killer. i miss him already and i can't wait for the next time i'm home. he's an amazing guy and i'm so lucky to have him. he has every fiber of my heart and i know he'll be kind with it. i AM going to marry him. i love him.
okay, weeeell i'm in my dorm room now, and i think i'm going to crash! its been a crazy weekend, and i need to rest!
natalie.
ughhh i'm sooo sick! i have a nasty cold! i need to study, but i haven't even gotten out of bed since 1pm! ;iegjrgnjs.adfn
THIS SUCKS.
hmm, well, this week has been quite amazing! i got a JOB! its a pretty cool one too! i get to dress up like a cowgirl.. boots, belt, bandanna.. its fun! i'm serving at the #1 restaurant here.. its a big steakhouse! =] i'm very excited. i went in and applied on wednesday, the girl called me back for an interview on thursday, and my first day was today! pretty sweet! $$$$ cha ching!
bad news though, i'm missing Con like CRAZY right now. he had UIL today, and i WASN'T THERE! =[ sad day. turns out they didn't do so well.. that makes me sad for him, he feels responsible because he's a leader. i feel like everywhere i go there are happy couples... its frustrating, especially because i HAVE A BOYFRIEND.. i just never see him! =[
hayley is so nice. we went to see a play called Arsenic and Old Lace. it was great. there was an old man who laughed hysterically the WHOLE time! haha, and this little boy sitting next to hayley and i kept asking questions and freaked out when people on stage kissed. ahah. it was a good time all around.
TESTTSSS:
i have a few tests coming up next week, and i'm thoroughly screwed. =/ my math test is on friday, and i'm SO unprepared. i need to be studying non-stop, but what with a new job and this week being homecoming, it makes it difficult! i also have a new testament test. ugh! and the big paper is due for that class too. i'm stressed about grades. i want A's! i'm so used to HAVING A's without even trying that i'm all messed up.
oh weelllllllll. i need to go to sleep! church in the morning! =/
love, natalie. =]
So I've started to see that I suck at math.. not only do I hate the subject, but I genuinely SUCK at it. i NEED a tutor.
I HATE THIS. I HATE MATH. I HATE ASKING FOR HELP!